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What is Self-trust and How To Develop It?

What is Self-trust and How To Develop It?

Updated on May 16, 2022

Reviewed by Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD , Certified Psychiatrist

Self-Trust - Meaning, Its Importance, Ways to Build & So Much More

Key Takeaways

  • Self-trust is all about having faith in yourself. If you believe in yourself and are confident enough, then you can deal with any complicated situation very easily.
  • If you are constantly spending time with negative people, it can influence your trust level.
  • If you have experienced something bad or are experiencing negative criticism all the time, it gets difficult to keep faith in oneself.
  • Avoid the people who make you feel bad about yourself. Prioritize yourself the most and accept all the positives or negatives you have to develop your self trust.
  • You can also do some relaxing exercises or meditation to calm your mind and understand your thoughts. It will help you to know yourself in a better way.

Most people question themselves while making any choice in their life. If you are one of them and want to know how to build self-trust, this article is going to guide you through the right path.  

Certain negative experiences, regret, or some opinions from other people can really make you doubt yourself for no reason. 

If you are not sure about yourself does not always mean that there is something wrong with you. 

You just need to sit with yourself and think about all the positive things that you have done in your life. Accept all your negatives and all the challenges that you face in life. 

Follow your intuition and do not hold yourself back from expressing yourself. 

What is self-trust 

Self-trust is the ability to believe in yourself and accept all your negatives and positives. If you have self-trust that means you believe in your growth and you are confident about your decisions most of the time.

However, trusting yourself does not mean that you can always think yourself right and you can never make any mistakes in life.

Self-trust can teach you to accept your faults and learn from them instead. 

If you trust yourself, you can take the initiative and develop a good relationship with someone. Be confident in yourself and do not let someone affect your trust level. 

If you can develop your self-trust you can be prepared to face any obstacle or any challenges in your path.

It will help you to improve your mental, physical and emotional abilities. 

Why is self-trust important

Trusting yourself can make you stronger and can help you to develop your confidence level. Sometimes it is really hard to rely on someone else when you are having some trouble. 

If you trust yourself enough you can overcome those situations by relying on your instinct. 

If you start questioning yourself in every step it can be hard for you to make any tough choices in life. 

Everyone makes mistakes in their life. Once you make a mistake, you will not be able to decide anything without someone’s help. 

When you trust yourself you will be able to be more confident about everything. You will feel more secure and positive in any situation. 

Studies have reflected that it will also help you to develop a healthy and satisfying relationship. 

What are the reasons that you face difficulty to build self-trust 

There may be different factors responsible that can affect your self-trust level. Here we are going to discuss certain reasons that can cause you to lack the ability to trust yourself.  

Past experience

If you have certain negative experiences in your life that are holding you back from doing something new or taking some risks based on your views. 

You are afraid that something will go wrong if you listen to your guts and follow your heart. 

You may have made some decisions in your life and experienced some negative outcomes. That experience may have developed fear and anxiety in you.

Negative criticism

If someone has told you something negative about yourself that can be a reason behind your inability to have faith in yourself. 

If you have any negative people around they may focus on different negative aspects about yourself.

Some people can only focus on your weaknesses and their constant reminders can make you forget the good you have in yourself. 

If you listen to too many negative criticisms about different things it can influence your perception and affect your self-confidence too. 

Multiple mistakes

If you have made multiple mistakes in your life and experienced the consequences, you may be afraid to make any choices in life. 

You will not be confident enough to do something. You can be insecure that you may mess up everything again. 

Judgment from others

You may have many judgmental people in your life who observe your every step and judge you on the basis of them. 

In this situation, you can be really afraid to have faith in yourself and do something on your own. You are worried that someone may judge you in the wrong way.


If you feel too much guilt for something you have done in the past it can be really hard for you to believe in yourself and do something.

The guilt and the shame can be really overwhelming sometimes. 

How to build self-trust

There are several ways that you can follow to work on self-trust. In this article, we are going to talk about all the probable methods that can help you in the process. 

1. Accept your emotions 

If you are afraid of your emotions that can affect the ability to trust yourself.

You need to have a better understanding of all your emotions and the reason behind them. For that, you need to accept all your emotions first. 

You will experience different negative emotions like anger, fear, or sadness in your life and you can not escape that. 

Acknowledging those negative emotions can be very hard but once you are ready to acknowledge them it will be easier for you to develop self-trust. 

Try to understand what can trigger certain emotions and how you react at that moment. Once you figure out these questions you will feel more in control. 

It will be easier for you to accept all your emotions once you understand all of them. 

2. Do not set an unrealistic goal

Sometimes people just set some overachieving, unrealistic goals in life and they get sad and depressed when they are unable to achieve them. 

You need to set your goals based on reality, the things you want to truly achieve in life.  

Most importantly, both your long-term and short-term goals should be achievable. Every time you achieve a goal on your own, you will rely more on yourself.

Divide your long-term goal into short weekly or monthly goals and celebrate each time you achieve them. 

If you set some vague goals then every time you fail to achieve them you will feel miserable and it will affect your confidence and self-belief negatively for no reason.  

3. Show kindness to yourself

Sometimes people put too much effort into themself and get overwhelmed by everything around them. You need to be kind to yourself. 

Reduce your responsibilities if they are overwhelming to you. 

Do not hold yourself responsible for everything that is happening in your life. Try to improve yourself instead of blaming yourself. 

Do not over criticize yourself negatively in any situation and try to improve yourself in a positive way. 

Try to be calm and patient in certain moments. While you are talking to yourself do not show aggression. Remember that you are a human being too and treat yourself like one. 

4. Take risks in life

When you do not trust yourself that much it can be really hard for you to take some risks in your life. You can be really afraid and worried about the things that may happen. 

Sometimes you just need to gain your courage and take some risks without worrying about the results. 

Even if you do not succeed after taking such risks, your ability to handle any situation will help you to increase your self-trust and help you to grow. 

You will be more confident about yourself that you can take any challenges in your life and you are ready to work on them. 

If you succeed in that situation your motivation and your self-trust level will be positively affected. If you fail then you will experience something new and maybe something good will come out of it. 

You can learn some amazing lessons in your life by taking a risk and you can improve yourself and grow in the process too.  

5. Talk about what you have in mind

Sometimes people are too afraid to share their thoughts and ideas. They are afraid that others will judge them. It affects their confidence level negatively. 

Do not hold yourself back. If you are feeling strongly about something and you speak up and let everyone know your ideas. 

Most of the people will really appreciate your thoughts and motivate you for more. 

It can be uncomfortable at first. But the more you open up and talk about the things that are on your mind, the more you will feel confident. Your faith in yourself will increase too. 

6. Listen to yourself

Often people avoid their inner thoughts and inner voice about different things. But if you avoid your inner thoughts and ideas you will not be able to trust yourself. 

Listen to your thoughts and your views and give importance to them. 

It can also be called intuition. Sometimes you can get a feeling about certain things and you should not avoid that feeling. 

Try to understand it and find out the reasons behind that feeling. This can give your thoughts a new angle and some positive outcomes. 

Listening to your inner wisdom can really build your self-confidence. The more you see the outcomes, the more you will be able to develop your self-trust. 

7. Learn to forgive yourself

Everyone makes mistakes in their life and sometimes you can not forget the feeling of disappointment and guilt and punish yourself for a very long time.

You should take some time off and learn to forgive yourself. 

Do not be harsh on yourself every time you make a mistake. It is very normal to mess things up sometimes. You should learn from your mistake instead of blaming yourself for it. 

Do not live in a state of guilt and shame for a long time. Try to resolve them instead of feeling that pain for a long time. Try to rectify what you have done and make up for it. 

If you can enhance the capacity of forgiveness for yourself, you will be able to experience something new and amazing in your life. 

Do not let some mistake stop you from doing something big and good in life. 

8. Do not be afraid of the failure

You will not be able to get success every time in your life. Failure is a big and inevitable part of our life and it can help us to learn the value of success. 

Do not be afraid of failing every time you are working on something.

Even if you fall, prepare yourself to learn from it and start again with extra effort. Do not stop yourself from learning and doing something new in life. 

If you can handle failure positively you will be able to increase the capacity of trusting yourself no matter how difficult the situation is. 

9. Spend time with yourself

You should take out some time to spend with yourself. Fix an appointment with yourself and do something you really like to do. 

Listen to spoken good music or go to a cafe and have a cup of coffee with yourself. It will make you feel happy and relaxed. 

This will help you to understand yourself in a better way. You will be able to understand your inner thoughts and your inner ideas. 

This can help you to understand your worth and develop your self-trust. 

10. Be committed to yourself

Committing to yourself is another important factor that can help you to develop self-trust.

If you are planning to do something for yourself then no matter what you should keep that promise and make some time for it. 

Try to divide your work into some small steps. It will help you finish your work in time and make some free time for yourself. 

You can divide your large goal into some small goals too and celebrate by doing something for yourself every time you achieve one. 

11. Pay more attention to the result

Whenever you are working on something, always pay attention to the results. Results and outcomes are really important to understand your performance and your strengths. 

Try to understand the areas you are most efficient in.

Analyzing the results will also help you to find out the area where you lack something and will help you to learn from your mistakes. 

You should not be depressed and do not start a blame game for the mistakes you have made.

Take some time and guide yourself to work on the areas you are weak in and have a fresh start with all your enthusiasm and confidence. 

12. Be more responsible to yourself

Always try to be responsible to yourself and fulfill all your commitments and duties without any hesitation. Do not blame someone else for something you did. 

Whether it is something good or bad, try to take responsibility for what you have done without holding yourself back.

If you have taken the responsibility to do something, try to finish it before time so that you will not have to rush at the end.

It will help you to avoid any feeling of guilt and stress of not completing the work in time. 

The more responsible you are the more you can get appreciation from other people for your good work and it will help you to grow and develop faith in yourself. 

13. Remember your success

You should focus and pay more attention to every success that you have achieved along with your failure in life.

Every little success will help you to learn about your strength and will also help you to increase your confidence level.

Whenever you are feeling low and experiencing certain conflicts about something, always try to remember something that you have achieved. 

This will remind you that you can handle any situation no matter how difficult it is. 

14. Give yourself a reward

The reward is something that can always motivate us to do something good and positive.

Every time you do something good you should reward yourself with something to appreciate your hard work. 

If you are working for a long time, take a small break and drink a cup of tea or coffee, go for a walk or do something that you love. 

You can plan a relaxing weekend somewhere after a hectic week and spend some time with your loved ones. 

Select your reward according to the amount of work you are doing.

Appreciate yourself and that will help you to feel good and increase your confidence level and your self-trust. 

15. Be yourself

Do not get afraid of someone else judging you for some reason. Express your ideas and yourself without any fear.

Do not pretend to be someone or something that you are not, just to please someone else. 

The more you act like someone else, the more your confidence and your faith in yourself will be negatively affected.

Have some faith in yourself and try to be your true self in front of everyone with full condense.

If you feel insecure expressing yourself in front of someone, keep spending time with them until you feel comfortable being yourself without any second thought.

This will help them to trust you more.  

16. Give importance to your strength 

No one is perfect in everything in this world, everyone has their own weaknesses. You should give some more importance to your strength and to the things that you are good at. 

Do not always focus on the things that you are weak at. Sometimes it is really important to appreciate yourself for all the good things you have done. 

Spend more time doing the things you love and you are good at.

This will help you to increase the level of trust you have for yourself and will help you to achieve something good in life too.

17. Do not question your decision all the time

Everyone makes some questionable decisions in our life that does not mean that you will question your decisions every single time. 

If you have made some wrong choices in your life try to understand why you made that choice and why it is wrong. 

You should not hold yourself back from making any other decision because you are afraid that you may mess things up again.

Every time you are making some choices do not get yourself involved in any conflict. 

Think carefully about the positives and the negatives of your choice and decide what you think is right for you. 

Even if you make the wrong choice you can still learn something new from it but that should not stop you from making any decision in your future. 

18. Make a list of the things that you like about yourself

Everyone has something good in them even if you are unable to see it. Take a paper and a pen and write down the things that you really like about yourself. 

It will help you to find out the goods in you and increase your confidence level.

You can ask your family and friends too about what they like about you the most. It will help you to understand what other people think of you. 

19. Practice self care

Self-care is something we never prioritize most of the time though it is not complicated at all.

You should include a healthy diet, a regular bedtime, a little exercise, and a time for the things you love to do in your daily routine. 

When you are so overwhelmed with all your responsibilities, often you can forget about yourself. Whereas taking care of yourself is the most important thing that you should do. 

If you are not healthy mentally and physically you will never be able to think positively about yourself. 

Eat your food on time, take care of your body, and develop healthy habits. You can plan a spa day sometimes or just party with your friends.

Do something you really wanted to do for a long time but you never got a chance.

20. Try to solve your problems on your own

Whenever someone is stuck in some situation they often seek help from other people. But sometimes it is important to try to solve problems on your own. 

If you are stuck in some complicated situation and you do not know what to do, the first thing you should do is calm down and think with a clear mind. 

Think about all the possible solutions and their probable outcomes.

Sometimes you need to understand the reason for your problems to solve them. Prepare yourself for any outcomes and take the next step. 

Solving your problems will make you more confident about yourself. 

21. Stand up for yourself

If someone is saying something bad to you or negatively criticizing you sometimes it is important to speak up for yourself. 

Do not let someone else make fun of you. Stay strong in your point and do not let anyone else change your mind for no reason. 

When someone else is trying to prove you wrong for some reason or they are putting false allegations on you, do not stay silent. 

Stand up for yourself and stick to the point that you are right. People who care for you will understand your point of view and appreciate it. 

22. Respect yourself more

If you really want to develop self-trust you need to start respecting yourself too. Do not let someone else take you for granted. 

Value yourself like you value the people you love. If you have any opinion about something, respect that opinion too. 

Do not let someone else tell you otherwise. You should not go somewhere where you are not respected or where people do not respect you for no reason.

Avoid those who do not give you the respect that you deserve. 

Do not overlook certain situations in any case. Let everyone realize the respect and the love you deserve.

The more you treat yourself well the more you will realize your worth and it will help you to develop faith in yourself. 

23. Avoid the people who try to shame you

There are some people who always try to shame others for no valid reason. Sometimes they just find their satisfaction or avoid their insecurities by doing so.

Try to stay away from these kinds of people as much as possible. 

These people can try to make you feel super guilty for something silly or for something that does not matter that much at all. 

You should not give much importance to their words. Try to be strong enough to handle these situations and do not let someone else take you on a guilt trip for no reason. 

24. Make yourself the priority 

Remember to prioritize yourself the most. Sometimes we make so many sacrifices for the people we really love but do not make this your habit. 

If you can not make yourself happy, no one around you will be able to stay happy. 

Once you start giving yourself the most priority you will be able to lead a healthy and peaceful life. You will be able to take care of the people close to you better. 

Your positivity will influence the people around you to improve their thoughts and behavior in a positive way.

25. Embrace your vulnerability

You do not have to be strong all the time. Allow yourself to feel vulnerable sometimes when you are around the people you really love and care for. 

Accept that part of you as much as you love the strongest part of yourself. 

You can not hide your vulnerability all the time. It will cause some discomfort and you will not be able to express yourself entirely. 

Being vulnerable sometimes is a very brave decision and not everyone can handle that. 

When you are letting your guards down in front of someone you are sending them a hidden message that they can also let their guards down when they are with you. 

It will make things more intimate and comfortable. 

Do not jump into this, take some small steps one by one. Choose the people carefully in front of whom you are letting your barriers down. 

26. Set some boundaries

Some people can be really nosy and over interested in your life. These people can also misguide you in certain phases of your life and you need to be aware of them. 

Set a boundary and create a personal space where you will not allow any random person to enter. 

Some decisions of your life are just yours to make and no one else should be able to influence you in any way. 

No matter how close the person is, you should always let them know that they need to respect your boundaries. 

You also need to think about a way you want to respond when someone is trying to push their limits and trying to get involved in some personal matters.

It will not happen overnight. Take things slowly and do not leave hope. You may also need to set different boundaries for different people.

You may want to share more about your life with someone who you are comfortable with than a random friend or someone you barely know. 

27. Accept your flaws

This can be a really big step but if you can accept your flaws along with your strengths no one can make you feel inferior in life.

No one is perfect. Accept all your imperfection and they will help you to boost your confidence level. 

Sometimes other people can try to bother you by highlighting your weaknesses. You may feel sad and depressed if you are not comfortable with them. 

Your flaws can be your biggest strength. You just need to make them a part of you even around the people, without a second thought. 

You should always try to improve the things that you are not good at but do not let them become your insecurities that can hamper your well-being. 

The people who really care for you and love you will appreciate you no matter what. 

28. Be honest to yourself

Always try to be honest with yourself. If you can not be honest with yourself you can not expect other people to be honest with you too. 

If you are doing something that should not be done or if you have made any mistake that no one else has noticed but you should not overlook it.

No matter if someone else has noticed your faults or not, you should not take advantage of someone or something. Try to learn more about your moral values and follow them from your heart. 

When you are talking to someone else, follow the same. Never try to trick someone for your own benefit. The more you do good, the more you will be able to develop self-trust. 

If you have enough faith in yourself, others will be more comfortable in trusting you. 

29. Spend more time with positive people 

You should be very careful about the company you keep all the time. The people we spend time with can have a huge influence on our life. 

Try to avoid any negative influence in your life as much as possible. 

If you talk to someone positively and share different thoughts or ideas with each other, it will really help you to do something good together. 

They can inspire you to learn something new in life and their influence can also help you to boost your confidence level. 

If you spend more time with negative people their thoughts and their behavior can affect yours too. You may start thinking like them. 

Your confidence level may be affected negatively by different negative thoughts and fear or anxiety about different things. 

30. Talk to a therapist

We all need someone in our life to talk to and share different things with. Sometimes you may not get someone with whom you can be comfortable enough without being afraid of being judged. 

If you are experiencing the same you can start visiting a therapist near your place. You will be able to share your thoughts and your insecurities. 

With professional help, it will be easier to work on your issues and overcome them. 

You will not have to be afraid of them judging you and you can open up yourself without any fear. 

They can guide you to walk in the right direction and they can also help you to develop your self-trust and boost up your confidence level. 

How can you understand that you are lacking self-trust 

There are some signs that can help you to find out if you are lacking self-trust.

  • You are too worried about what others might say about you.
  • You think too much before making a decision.
  • You do not like taking risks.
  • You are afraid to learn something new.
  • You think about the negative outcomes most of the time.
  • You try to suppress your emotions all the time.
  • You always question yourself.
  • You rely on other people more than yourself.
  • You do not give importance to your feelings.

Self-trust exercises

There is no particular exercise that can help you with self-trust. 

Exercise can help you to clear your mind and calm yourself so that you can handle any complicated situation in your life and know yourself in a better way. 

  • You can do some yoga or some light workout. They can help you to stay healthy and fit. Your health can play a huge role in your faith and confidence level. 
  • Mindfulness is a great exercise that can help you to understand your thoughts and know more about yourself. 
  • You can maintain a journal every day so that you can always remind yourself of all the good things that you have done in life. 
  • If you get anxious easily you can try different breathing exercises. They can help you to refresh your mind and keep calm. 


It is hard to keep faith in yourself all the time but if you trust yourself you can overcome any complicated situation in your life. 

Sometimes you just need to think and listen to yourself. Stay calm and focus on the different positive things in life. 

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